The Gift of Getting Lost
SCRIPTURE TEXT: Psalm 42; 1 Samuel 3:8-9
Rev. Monte Marshall
During this season of Lent, we’re traveling through the Dark Wood. The image comes from the poet Dante and it signifies a terrifying place of struggle, failure, emptiness and uncertainty.
But for author Eric Elnes, there are gifts to be found in the Dark Wood, hence the title of his book Gifts of the Dark Wood. According to Elnes, within this terrifying place we also discover “fierce beauty and astonishing blessing,” for within the Dark Wood we meet God and discover our true selves. And these are the ingredients of a “spiritual awakening.”1
On today’s journey, we seek the gift of getting lost. Let’s pray. PRAYER.
Do you know what it’s like to feel lost? I do. In the fall of 1985, I made the first of many trips to a Roman Catholic house of prayer called Lebh Shomea located near a tiny South Texas town north of Kingsville named Sarita. Lebh Shomea is a Hebrew phrase meaning “listening heart.” In keeping with its name, the emphasis at Lebh Shomea is on connecting with God through prayer, silence and solitude.
Lebh Shomea is located on 1,100 acres of ranch land on the Sarita Kennedy East estate. The landscape is rugged, South Texas brush country laced with sand dunes, groves of oak and mesquite trees, and towering palm trees. Wildlife is abundant on the ranch including an exotic animal called a Nilgai which is an Asian antelope about as large as a medium-sized horse.2
Late in the afternoon on my first day at Lebh Shomea, I decided to take a walk along one of the nature trails that meander through about 1,000 acres of the property. For the first thirty minutes or so, I had an incredibly peaceful experience. No one else was around. But then I came to a spot where the trail was ill-defined. I thought about turning back until I saw what looked like the vague outline of a trail up ahead, so I kept going. The farther I went, the more anxious I became. I was increasingly uncertain about the way forward or the way back. I felt lost.
My anxiety spiked when I rounded a curve in the trail and saw this Nilgai standing on a rise in the ground about fifty yards in front of me. I didn’t know if this imposing animal was friend or foe, but I was scared.
Fortunately, I managed to get past the Nilgai, but I still had no idea where I was going. The sun was setting and I was terrified that I would get caught out in this South Texas wilderness in the dark. I was nearly in a panic.
I remember praying with increasing desperation: “God help me! God show me the way!” I kept thinking about the Hebrews wandering in the wilderness for forty years and about Jesus fasting in the wilderness for forty days. I prayed harder and a thought came to mind: “Learn from this. Learn from this.”
Finally, after about two hours, I came across a barbed-wire fence. I decided to follow it and sure enough, I made it back to the main ranch road and then to my cabin.
I spent the rest of my time at Lebh Shomea meditating on this experience of feeling lost. It became for me, a metaphor of where I was in my life. Nearly ten years before, I had lived through a period of increasing clarity that set the direction for my life. But in 1985, I was increasingly feeling lost and unsure of the way forward in my own journey of deepening discipleship. It was a time of uncertainty and anxiety.
Thankfully, during my walk in the Dark Wood at Lebh Shomea, I received several gifts through the experience of getting lost. First of all, I learned about the power longing. As I meditated on my experience of feeling lost in that South Texas wilderness, one of the scriptures I turned to was Psalm 42: “As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”
In the Dark Wood, I felt lost and afraid and in a near panic. But in that condition, my soul turned to God with an intense longing. And then it dawned on me: This yearning for a deep connection to God is always with me underneath the surface of everything in my life. The experience of getting lost simply brought that longing up from the depths and into plain view.
I also learned to pay attention to the Spirit’s promptings in my life. I believe that the message I received in the Dark Wood, “Learn from this,” was a nudge from the Spirit. It was God’s way of getting my attention and opening my eyes to the gift of getting lost in the Dark Wood.
In fact, I’m convinced that my previous exposure to Samuel’s story, and others like it in the scriptures, helped me to discern and interpret this message as coming from God. In this morning’s scripture reading, for example, God’s people are in the Dark Wood. In the verses preceding this morning’s text, we’re told that “the word of Yahweh” and divinely-inspired visions, were rare in those days.3
Consequently, it took Eli three times to figure out what was going on with Samuel. He finally realized that God was trying to get Samuel’s attention, not through an audible voice, but through an inner voice that was perceived intuitively.
Eli told Samuel that if he heard this “voice” again, he should respond by saying “Speak, Yahweh, for your servant is listening.” When it did happen again, Samuel responded just as Eli had advised but with one exception: he didn’t use God’s name. This omission expresses Samuel’s doubt. Nevertheless, Samuel trusted and he went on to serve God as a great prophet.
Well, I too learned something about trust in my experience of getting lost in the Dark Wood at Lebh Shomea. In the safety of my cabin, I claimed the gift, but imperfectly as I still struggle to trust God with my life, especially when I’m feeling lost and afraid. The good news is that I’m still learning.
So I wonder: Do you know what it’s like to feel lost in the Dark Wood? If you do, have you discovered the gift of getting lost in the Dark Wood? If you have, then consider this: “In the Dark Wood, even those who are lost themselves can be gift-bearers to others seeking their way in the dark .”4
And this brings us to a time of reflection. Each week we take time to reflect, accompanied by music. This week, you are invited to take the slip of paper included in your bulletin and write upon it a word of encouragement for someone who may cross the path where you have been, feeling utterly lost. What would you say to them? What would God say to them? When you are finished, crumple up the paper into ball, symbolizing a rock. As you come forward for communion later in the service, bring your symbolic “rock” forward and place it in one of the bowls provided at each serving station. The rocks at each station will represent Cairns, or piles of stacked rocks that have historically been used to mark pathways.
TIME FOR REFLECTION
God, thank you for all the gifts of the Dark Wood, but especially for the gift of getting lost. Amen.